I need your help.
In the year 2020, I was deep into my 140-character micro-blogging phase. My artistic practice of the period was to pick random people’s profile pics and draw a sketch of them whilst on my 30-minute free bus ride back home.
One of the sketches was of English comedy writer, Simon Blackwell who was one of the writers for one of my favourite TV shows, Peep Show.
A year passed and the sketchbook was neatly stored in my bedside drawer. I logged into the popular social networking website Facebook as I have a dopamine and serotonin addiction, my doctor told me to log in daily to prevent any terrible side effects caused by withdrawal. A little red notification icon appeared in my inbox and I get a rush of good feelings flooding through my synapses. Someone with the surname of Blackwell messaged me saying that he loved the drawing I did of his dad and would like to buy it as a Christmas present. He then uttered 7 dreaded words that put fear into any artist “How much would you sell it for?”.
My body immediately transmuted those good-feeling hormones into a harrowing dose of cortisol, my chest felt tight, and my mind muddled. I went into the mode of fight or flight inside, yet the outside was normal. My mind went haywire “Would he like it framed, which frame would he like? Would he like a frame? Is this ffff-frame, ok?” my body followed my biscuit-addled mind by scrabbling around the room, finding two frames under a pile of papers, hastily adding the sketch to each frame and taking a photo to share with the potential buyer. It was all very stressful.
I sent the frame options and the price to him (I forget how much, but it wasn’t much for an original SLART) and anxiously awaited his reply. Hours went by and there was nothing. “He didn’t even see my message? Did he? Maybe I charged too much? AHhhhh!” My mind screamed, it was terrified of rejection.
Hours turned into days, then days into weeks and weeks into months with no reply. Then the next time I checked; he no longer had a Facebook account.
What happened next might surprise you. What I did was wrap up the framed artwork, found Simon Blackwell’s accountant’s address and posted it to him gratis. I checked the Hermes postage notification and I saw the little photo of a hand behind the door receiving the parcel. So, someone must have got it.
I even tried at-ing him on Twitter to see if he received it, not a jot of a whiff of a reply from him, sadly.
There’s a £1000 reward for anyone who finds out if Simon Blackwell has the artwork I sent him, you must provide a photo of him next to the artwork as proof.
I will send 1000 x postal orders of £1 each to your home address. Please provide evidence in the comments.
Thanks
